(with almost NO stops in between)
As I mentioned in my last Blog, I was the grateful beneficiary of a family of “sacrificing” ancestors. In addition to having a humbling effect on my life, it also caused me to pay close attention to how my “outlook” on life might be somewhat different than the others that I noticed/observed. For example, we thought that “everything in moderation” was a good ‘mantra’ for living. Yet, the American “style” seemed to be geared to strongly ‘push’ for each ‘extreme’ of (mostly) “excess” or (less-often) “denial.”
Having listened to many “old-country” speeches from my Grandfather during our three-hour Sunday meals, I came away with an appreciation of the “wisdom” experience that only a 2,000 year-old Italian culture can produce. Quite often it was at odds with that of a 200-year-old one like America. This was very conflicting to me as a teenager when trying to fit into one modern ‘clique’ or another. It eventually sunk in (by osmosis) over the adult time it took to reach “maturity.” No wonder he NEVER gave up on his “speeches” or his family.
Another thing I vividly remember him saying is to “eat a little dirt/poison every day” in order to strengthen one’s own internal immune system. This, since the ONLY thing we can control/develop is ourselves and never the ‘outside’ world. I later learned that this was the principle behind the “homeopathic” approach to medicine although I don’t know if HE ever knew that. His family seemed extremely healthy well into their 90’s, however; something I am planning for myself as well. I have experienced many life extremes in this regard. I see both a lot of “germaphobia’ in people at one end of the spectrum and downright “nastiness” from many people at the other extreme.
When it came to family “bonds,” there was nothing more important, not even God or “country” (city, state) because without “family-as-foundation,” nothing else can be ‘built’ upon. We may be now witnessing the effects of that ‘breakdown’ in our current culture? Mother must always be the center “hub” of the family unit, the critical liaison between husband and children. Father may be the titular “head” of the family but can never forget that “if Momma’s NOT happy, NOBODY can be happy!” Children, of course are the MAIN reason for the Family in the first place AND Grandparents will never let THAT be forgotten. If these “traditional” definitions are passe’ then I am definitely passe.’
I never thought of women in the extreme position of either “Madonna or whore.” Yet, the manner in which the 50’s/60’s TV Moms (e.g., June Clever, Harriet Nelson, Donna Reed, Margaret Anderson) were portrayed was seemingly vapid and unreal to me. They could never be anything other than the dutiful, stay-at-home domestic Stepford Wives/Mothers. There was an asexual nature to them while sex was considered “dirty” and reserved for the fat and ugly image of the “stag movie” actresses(?). Maybe Carol Brady or Shirley Partridge were attempts during the 70’s to update those images but not for/to me.
Compare those images to the giant ‘leaps’ made to the modern extreme of Women’s roles in society. The MILFs on FOX News; The Business women who traded their ovaries for testes; or the “Porn Hub” ‘stars’ who are actually more attractive than the media spokes gals/actresses/fashion models/pageant contestants of days gone by. Where is the healthy balance? Where do men and children find women who can navigate/model some sort of middle ground in life?
Men use to be portrayed as only the “bread winners” and as such, had to ‘suck up’ their pain, swallow all of their emotions and put up a macho façade to protect their family and defend themselves against a cruel world. The Fathers on television shows were always so calm, so wise, so patient, so tolerant and as UNREAL as their perfectly dressed and coiffed wives. No wonder they were vulnerable for having their masculinity wrested away from them by “Women’s Liberation” and the complicit Legacy Media.
So, what kind of image have the men been left with? Weak and foolish idiots as portrayed by that same Media. Archie Bunker and Al Bundy when actors were convinced to play those stupid parts and with Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin when men could NOT be convinced. How and when did the roles of husband and father become such a joke in life? I think it is LIFE imitating ART and NOT the other way around.
The ”influencers” in media, entertainment and politics have distorted images to suit their own purposes/agendas, (like gay fashion designers creating clothes that are meant to/only look good on young boys). Why have real men stood idly by ignoring these misrepresentations rather than get up-in-arms? Maybe I am sensing a little change in this regard? I think the idea that Men, appearing to be the “inferior” gender, has gone far enough…certainly for me and I hope, most others. My family had nothing but reverence for Women and I objected/object strenuously to be categorized as any type of “chauvinist.”
Minorities are another issue that have been treated extremely. It used to be that our differences were acknowledged and almost celebrated. While it is Human Nature to recognize our differences, it used to be handled by good-natured teasing (think of guys “busting balls in the locker room). Now, people’s ‘skins’ have become so ‘thin’ that they are veritably transparent, and everyone is terrified to turn any thought into a verbal expression (talk about a creativity stopper). How was it that calling each other “Dago,” “Mick,” “Pollack,” “Spic,” or “Kike” was supposed to be tolerated by our grandparents/parents and the “N-Word” (I’m even afraid to type it) is now grounds for dismissal/termination? As a compensation(?) for past transgressions, Blacks now exclude “non-blacks” in February’s “History Month,” “Entertainment Television” (BET)/Awards Show, “ESSENCE” Magazine, and a “Miss Black America” beauty pageant. Is that not the same type of “segregation” with which we were so opposed?
Once again, both extremes are not ideal but how can the exact same thing be ‘minor’ for one generation and ‘deplorable’ for the next generation? Did we just “fly over” reason, understanding and acceptance and land on hyper/ultra sensitivity? Are we so much more evolved, enlightened and loving as humanity or are we just in complete/total denial about Human Nature? We are, in fact, different, equitable and like to be included with those whom we choose. It seems, however, that the issue has become one of ignorance and laziness and not one of Equality. Diversity is only the ‘spice’ of life if we are FREE to choose it? If you doubt it, try forcing a child to eat Brussel sprouts.
Much like I am tired of Men being punished for past ‘sins’ against Women, I am tired of Whites being punished for past ‘sins’ against people of color. Especially since I have had absolutely NOTHING to do with ANY of those “sins.” To me, we have gone from the extreme of treating people-of-color as “second class” citizens to treating whites as “second class” citizens especially in the Media and other public depictions. We have missed to middle-ground of treating each individual (as First-Class Humans) and then, on their own merit of accomplishment (for earthly rewards) and most importantly, as another child of God (for eternal rewards).
Speaking of the Media, look at the extremism of Television. TV was so ‘uptight’ in the early days that “hell” and “damn” were considered unacceptable utterances on the ‘air.’ No married couple’s bedroom could be shown with anything other than “twin beds.” No bathroom commodes would ever be visible because we, as a society, were mortified/in denial about normal, healthy bodily functions. We have gone form the extreme of ‘no-choice’ 4 television stations to the ‘impossible-to-choose’ 400 channels (“and Nothing on”).
Now, there is a “cuss’ word in every sentence of dialogue and the “F-Bomb” is anxiously waiting on ‘deck’ to be included. From the Puritanical extreme of high necklines, long skirts and no toe cleavage, we now regularly dabble in the, “leave-nothing-to-the-imagination” extremes of butt-crack bikini thongs, plunging ‘boob’ cleavage and underwear usually reserved for “hookers.” The visible nipple has already begun making appearances on the “red carpet.” So, what is it? Extreme prudishness or extreme sluttiness? How about some sensible behavior not geared to abhor or stimulate?
Finally, I love the example of American cars. Post WW-II cars for each family were so unique that automobile designers/engineers were more like artists’ working on ‘canvasses’ than making ‘hunks’ of steel for personal transportation. Each car model could be ordered with individually-customized option features/colors from a specific “Brand” which conveyed the image anyone wanted to convey/project/afford. As a result, there were few economies-of-scale, little fuel efficiency, less long-lastingness or effective cost considerations. Nowadays, cars can last longer and are of much higher quality, fuel efficiency and include many more ‘standard’ features (as opposed to chosen “benefits”). As a result, they are much less individual, distinctive or affordable. A two-year financing plan used to be noteworthy, now seven-years financing has become a ‘necessity.’
There is just no reasonable “middle-ground” much anywhere anymore. Just OVER-reactions; OVER-compensations; and OVER-corrections in response to UNDER-utilization; UNDER-recognition: and UNDER-appreciation. I do not pretend to know why this happens except that it almost always does. What ever happened to “two steps forward and one step back?” I guess it was replaced by “One Giant Leap for Non-WASP/Woman Kind.”
Since I do not restrict “Free Will” only to the Baptists, I blame myself for allowing the world to influence my lousy choices. I try not to be too un-godly hard on myself because I acknowledge the world ‘momentum’ can be an incredibly powerful force against any one individual. Thinking critically for myself has not been easy nor given me many accolades. All it has gotten me has been being called names that do not fit in with the “mainstream.” Mostly the “N-word” (NON-Conformist) or, in politically-correct terminology, “Contrarian.” :o)