A “deck” of 52 playing cards distributed over 4, different “suits’ has been a highly recognizable ‘vehicle’ for a great number and variety of games across many cultures for more than a thousand years. I am choosing to use it as a unique analogy for Human Nature and how people may prioritize difficult choices made in their respective lives. I will not be using all 13 cards from each suit but just the “top 5” (ace, king, queen, jack, 10) from: Clubs; Diamonds; Hearts; and Spades. Furthermore, I will not be assigning and ‘ranking’ of the five components of each analogous suit as I really think that will vary by each individual’s “priority” IF one accepts the analogies as “valid” in the first place?
CLUBS-
This is the lowest/bottom level of Human “consciousness” as it were. This is the ‘criteria’ one uses when one does not know any ‘better?’ It could be due to innocence; genuine ignorance; lack of education; absence of experience; stupidity; or malicious intention. Please understand that this is not meant to be judgmental of anyone’s “value” in the ‘eyes’ of God. Rather, just a possible ‘explanation proposition’ of how and why some people might behave the way that they do, especially if they cannot “help it!”
People in this ‘category’ generally do not possess the ‘depth of comprehension’ to make any decision except from the most superficial level of evaluation. This does not make them ‘shallow’ persons, just quite limited in their ability to ‘see’ beneath the surface of how things appear and assess them accordingly. People Operating on this “Concrete” level (with acknowledgement to Jean Piaget), make decisions based on things that only “meet the eye” of outward/physical appearances like race; gender; ethnicity; age; and sexual orientation. For example, my well-intending, uneducated, born-in-Italy Grandma’s BEST advice given to me was: “Joey, be sure to marry an Italian girl!” When I am ‘frustrated’ by my Irish-American/Canadian-French wife, I think that Grandma might have been “right!” about her ethnic advice. :o) Even though her ‘insight’ was not very “astute,” it was well intended, and I loved her for it.
The same concept definitely applies for people who believe in racial-only determination; who have predispositions about age being “anything being more than just a number;” ONLY opposite genders can ‘attract;’ or anyone “hung up” on the physicality of things like big boobs, height/weight of ANY size, eyes for looking at, not seeing, or even just muscles. Quite simply, this classification (oops, shouldn’t say that) of people who cannot or will not invest the time/energy/openness to reap the “rewards” which diversity can “sow.” I am not putting anyone ‘down’ here. As a matter of fact, I have always been somewhat envious of the “ignorance is bliss’ that my dear, sweet Mom possessed.
Example: The popularity of a ‘beauty’ contest winner or performance of an Olympian.
DIAMONDS-
If one can get beyond life’s ‘book covers,’ a little more understanding might yield different (better) results here. We basically are ‘upgrading’ from a purely physical/bodily appraisal to one of an intellectual/brainy one. In other words, one is attracted to those thing which the mind has wrought. Or, in even cruder terms, one has decided to trade sex for money/prestige/status/image. Whether the “Diamond’s” are literal or just symbolic, people here make decisions based on things like education (mental stimulation): salary (material comfort/security); title/position (association/memberships); possessions (car, house/neighborhood): or ‘appearances’ (‘dress’/’bling’). These folks might even marry an ‘unattractive’ physical specimen and have “affairs’ as long as their mind-generated ‘needs’ are “taken care of.”
Not judging here but just trying to postulate how different ‘priorities’ can exist for different people or for those same people at different stages of life and/or in different circumstances. I certainly “live in THAT Glass House.” I am fairly short so; I was always attracted to tall women (even taller than me). My friend, even shorter than me, was always attracted to noticeably shorter women. I wanted “taller” children, but he wanted to feel “bigger.” Then later, when my “biological clock ws ticking,” my physical ‘dominance’ took over (i.e., wanting kids) again; this time towards the attribute of a woman’s “fertility.” A different friend did NOT want kids so had a vasectomy BEFORE being ‘tempted’ within the context of any future relationships.
During the twenty years in-between those two, physical ‘priorities,’ I had numerous ‘bouts’ with mental ‘snobbery’ so please do not hate me because I am not ‘hating’ at all here. During MY “Diamonds” phase, I experienced ‘lusting’ after both material possessions and academic possessions. Having a “blue-collar” upbringing, I was under the mistaken impression for a while that “money buys happiness.” I was wrong then but did not realize that I was just trying to “over-compensate” (just “following the money” towards big house/car) with a V.P. title and “six-figure” salary because “I didn’t know no(sic) better!” Later, I thought an Education “sheepskin” degree would make me feel ‘smarter.’ I became obsessed with another erroneous concept of this “suit.” So, if I seem to be “throwing stones,” please realize they are of the “boomerang” variety.
Example: The intellectual excellence of a Pulitzer Prize winner.
HEARTS-
The basic ‘game’ we are ‘playing’ here (accepting that it is never THIS simple) is which factor trumps what other factor in making life’s complicated decisions? At the risk of sounding self-righteous and pompous (wouldn’t be the first time :-D), I have learned from much wiser mentors than me, THIS next categorization of emotionally-sensitive/psychologically-healthy considerations is even of a ‘higher’ Human enlightenment than our best “mental” efforts. On some issues like “war,” we have regressed (devolved?). For other like the “Seven Deadly Sins,” we have neither evolved nor regressed. I would like to believe that our “awareness” has been ‘raised’ on a few of the following behaviors at least.
If there are people who can RESIST physically and/or verbally ‘bullying,’ I have always admired those people who understand the Human “condition” very well. You all know people who are “sensitive” and “empathic” and go through life treating others according the “Golden Rule” while ‘managing’ their own particular moods appropriately at any given time. In a word, they are “Kind-Hearted” individuals who do NOT believe that kindness is ever a “sign-of-weakness.” They also practice the fairly rare habit of putting themselves in “another person’s place” or even “walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.” “Love” is the ‘currency’ here as in the “Agape” love which Jesus Christ professed.
Furthermore, these people value a well-developed sense-of-humor but mostly about THEMSELVES. This is different than ”wittiness” which is more mental (than heartfelt) and an ‘end’ unto itself. Being able to laugh at oneself, not take life too seriously and spread that joy to others is one of life’s great gifts/talents. Speaking of “spreading,” these are also the folks who make decisions based on the generous principle that, “it is better to give than receive” (including the ‘shirt’ of one’s back). Not, “what’s in it for me” (WIIFM), not for short-term gain or even the “thank you” recognition. Rather, because nothing can beat the feeling ‘inside’ they receive. Likewise, for decisions made out of loyalty not ‘favors’ or the trust of one’s own “word”-of-honor, and NOT a written legal contract or even the threat of physical/mental consequences of ‘abuse.’
Example: The lifelong “passion” necessary to be awarded a Nobel Prize.
SPADES-
Our ‘highest’ suit in this deck is the one that is considered to be of the most “spiritual” orientation. The one which believes that the one and only social order is that: “We are ALL Children of God” and the only ‘timeframe’ is “eternity.” Kind of esoteric for sure and only ‘easy’ for the angels and saints of this world. For we mere mortals, it is more like “occasionally” with specific people at particular times and for certain instances, that we might be able to make life decisions for the most ‘noble’ of motivations/reasons. For those of us who have NOT had a life “calling” based on some religious “vision/miracle,” we might have to be satisfied with loving our children so much that we are willing to lay down our life for them (but not for any ‘principle’ like Joan of Arc).
Aside from being totally devoted to our family and its values, much of our spiritual ‘strength’ might come from and be directed towards our own personal faith and beliefs. It seems like a fairly rare occurrence in this life that people are willing to make such difficult decisions of self-denial, delayed gratification or abstinence of any kind for such an ‘unproven’ FUTURE outcomes as those promised by various religious tenets. Yet, the people who make those decisions based on their ‘convictions’ are those we tend to admire because of those choices. It is as if, they have actually witnessed life-after-death personally.
Finally, we need to also include those decisions made around a dedication to one’s life ideology or, dare I say, one’s political philosophy. Obviously, the best example of this is our military servants who GAVE ALL for one of THE “causes.” Some ‘visionary’ persons can see things into the future that most others cannot. Whether it be for the “good” like Jesus and his Disciples or for “bad” like Hitler, the motivations to make life decisions based on some future vision is somewhat ‘otherworldly’ for the rest of us. I would hazard a guess that partially explains our fascination with the so-called Super Heroes in books, movies and on television. Most of us lack the ‘courage’ to make decisions based on our conscience/inner voice/higher power so, the next best things is to live vicariously through media-generated characters who find it much easier to be “written” it than to be “real.”
Example: A Medal-of-Honor awardee or maybe even Canonization?
I hope you noticed that there are NO “Jokers” in our Deck of Cards!
NOTE: THE WORDS IN BOLD ARE THE ONES TO BE ASSIGNED AS ACE through TEN BY EACH INDIVIDUAL READER.