COMPLAINING IS EASY FOR EVERYONE; BUT ONE MUST HAVE “PERSPECTIVE’ TO APPRECIATE!

The Media world is comprised of complainers and complaints. This condition has infected our consciousness worse than any virus. The criticisms are always based on the distance between “reality” and one’s own sense of entitled, egotistical ‘perfection.’ I am not really sure how and why people came to expect that one deserves every situation in life to be automatically easy and exactly to their “loving.”

Let us look at some sociological ‘groups’ that seem to be in the ‘news’ for their ongoing complaining. Legal immigrants are welcomed to come to America for the promise of “opportunity” yet, many voice concerns about NOT being ‘given’ everything that they feel “entitled” to. Some politicians use these people as ‘pawns’ in their own power games.

My ancestors were given chances to ‘better’ themselves but NOT through charity but rather by ‘sacrificing’ (gradually less with each succeeding generation) through “sweat shop” jobs, economic hardships, World Wars and a hell of a lot of schoolwork/homework. We are not southern Europeans so, we were called hurtful names, and we were held to more demanding ‘standards’ than our lighter-skinned competition.

While I am reasonable satisfied with my ‘station’ in life, I could complain IF I chose to. For example, I would have to say that my RELATIVE socio-economic ‘progress’ (upward mobility) has proportionally lagged behind people of color (since the 1964 Equal Opportunity Legislation-e.g., Affirmative Action); Women (since 1970’s “liberation”); and even some more recent Immigrants (Asians/Indians with higher education) who have not had to take multiple generations to move up society’s ladder.

Instead, I choose to “appreciate” the ‘blessings’ I have mostly due to the efforts of my grandparents’ and my parents’ generations. If there were any advantages and/or even a little good ‘luck’ along their ways, life was never promised to be “fair.” I am incredibly grateful for them and do not focus on any disadvantages or bad luck that I might be currently experiencing. I am too motivated to make life better for my three children. That is what I mean by “perspective;” I am looking at the ‘big picture’ and the ‘longitudinal view.’

Another group worth discussing might be Women. I am not convinced that, as a group, they are any better off than before the seventies. They may be ‘differently’ off, but I would suggest that their American position pre and post “liberation” is just “six of one and half-dozen of another” regarding their overall lives’ ‘bottom line.’

If women were to cease the complaints about their current situation and appreciate some of the similarities and differences of the past, they might have a more healthy and balanced perspective? For example, instead of complaining about making 90 cents for every dollar by a man, realize that in 1970, it was only 50 cents on the dollar. Still a little way to go but pretty darn good thanks to their late-twentieth-century predecessors. I do not think that my salary has earned that kind of return!

Also, one cannot ignore any of the qualitative ‘costs’ of that so-called “progress.” I think if you factor in things harder to measure like health decline, family ‘fallout,’ and social custom ‘breakdowns,’ it might not seem like such a clear-cut victory for the majority of women, just for the purveyors of the “Women’s Movement!” You’ll notices that they did not clarify movement upwards or DOWNWARDS? Maybe the “thoroughly modern woman” should take a look back at the lives of the 1950’s/1960’s women and “appreciate” the things that were accorded and afforded those “gals?” I, for one, always thought women were the superior gender and as such ruled the ‘roost’ and in “lady-like” ways, dominated the ‘social order’ which, is much more relevant to 99% of us than the “world order.’  All of this under the illusion of being the “weaker/fairer” sex while holding the most valuable ‘resource’ than NO man can live without…..SEX!

The African-American issue is much more difficult to reconcile, I know. They were the only group of Non-Native Americans arriving here against their own will.

There is absolutely no doubt that, slavery is one on humanity’s greatest sins and it tarnishes United States’ history to this day. Given the fact that it was a fairly widespread practice beyond just America, I want to attempt to focus on a different perspective useful for today and not just continue the complaining process. I know this is pretty easy for an old, white-guy to do, right?

My social circles always thought that “black” Americans were awesome! Growing up in Connecticut during the sixties, we thought that black kids were the “coolest” kids. This, even though there was some civil ‘unrest’ going on during that time. More specifically, their music was the best from “Motown,” they were always the best athletes and usually, displayed the ‘style’ that was the most ‘fashionable.’ I, for one, loved their hair, even if some of them struggled with it. I even tried to perm my hair once to have a Jimi Hendrix “Afro” but unfortunately, my hair was to thin and straight to even hold the rollers, I was devastated!

The point being that the terrible circumstances that many of their ancestors suffered made each succeeding generation tenaciously strong and in some ironic way enabled their positions today to be even better achievements. I always notice a special pride and dignity that older black men seem to posses about accomplishments that only such a hard struggle could have forged.

So, rather that focus on “reparations” for prices paid by predecessors, why not ask the current population of African-Americans IF they would rather be right here now OR where they would be if relatives had never left Africa? I would not want to be back in Italy if my grandparents had never left Italy nor having drifted into a Mafia life if my parents had not kept me on the “straight and narrow.”

Just think, there have been black women who have won Miss America but no white women who have won Miss Black America. I was looking at Cosmopolitan magazine recently and saw plenty of black fashion models but not one white fashion model in the same month’s issue of Essence. There has been a black President of the United States, but the closest Italians have come is First Lady! In other words, play the ‘hand” one is dealt while resisting the temptation to play the “race” card.

Like I said, easy for me to say as an old, white-guy but since no one can re-live the past, it does not seem to make any sense or do ANY good to complain about things that can not be changed. The only possible and sensible answer is to appreciate wherever we are, accept the past as flawed and celebrate our ‘differences’ as the only way to work together. Diversity is our strength, and sameness is really boring so, appreciate our differences (both inequality and equitability) as EXACTLY the way the “Creator” intended. As hard as it to accept and understand at times, God does NOT make mistakes, and the Universe is in perfect, long-term harmony and balance.

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